Still haven’t finished – or even worse, started – your Christmas shopping? Bah humbug, Ebenezer Scrooge, what the heck are you waiting for? Well then, here are some not-so-nifty ideas for last-minute, re-gifted or belated Yuletide gifts. A word of warning, though: these probably won’t get you struck off Santa’s “naughty” list (hey, you’re the one that left things so late – what did you expect?)
A Bottle of (Cheap) Wine
What it hopefully says: “This drop is absolutely fabulous, so I wanted you to try it, too – you’re so sophisticated”.
What it actually says: “I’d completely forgotten about getting you a gift until I was at the bottle shop buying a little something for myself and remembered how wasted you got last Christmas”.
A Christmas Hamper (from Work)
What it hopefully says: “I know you’re a bit of a dab hand in the kitchen and thought you’d appreciate this basket of culinary delights – you’re so creative”.
What it actually says: “I received this from my stingy boss, none of the contents look even remotely appetising, so I figured ‘screw it, it’s your problem now’. Bon appétit”!
A 2013 Calendar (With Pictures of Impossibly Cute Baby Animals)
What it hopefully says: “Your time is precious, so I thought this would really help you organize your demanding work schedule and fulfilling social life – you’re so well balanced.”
What it actually says: “Yep, I’m fully aware that your smartphone, computer and wrist watch can give the exact same information much more succinctly, but I just wanted to remind you of your mortality… Every. Single. Day”.
A Gift Card (from a Nondescript Department Store)
What it hopefully says: “I really, really wanted you to have something you liked this Christmas and no-one knows you better than, well, YOU – you’re so in tune with yourself”.
What it actually says: “Go on, you do the hard yards and buy your own stinkin’ present – I really can’t be bothered!”
A Box of (Nearly Expired) Chocolates
What it hopefully says: “They’re not as sweet as you are, but I hope you’ll enjoy these tasty treats. And by the way, how do you still maintain your svelte figure? You’re awesome!”
What it actually says: “I received these from an equally lazy, last-minute gift-giver the previous Christmas. They sat forgotten in my pantry all year, there are only three days left before they go off, but I know you’ll scoff ‘em down”.
Elias Velis is the ‘Christmas Specialist’ at Harvey Norman. Once known as the Ebeneezer Scrooge of blogging, he now spends his days scoffing mince pies, sipping mulled wine margaritas and wishing it could be christmas every day. If you do want a funky self gift for the house, visit our small appliances section.
Photo Credit: Harvey Norman (CC BY 2.0)
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